Thought: World Fantasy Convention
So, I am at World Fantasy Convention 2007 and I would attempt to write something about it or talk about it or even give a summary of what I am doing at it, but I am too busy to write everything down and too excited to do it justice.
Suffice to say that I have met many of my favorite authors and decided that, yeah, I’m in the right business. There’s nothing else I would rather be doing with my time, or with my life.
Thought: Writer’s Block – An Epilogue.
A good friend of mine has recently decided that he is going to beat the Writer’s Block out of me. (I realize that sounds strange. Please stay with me, I promise that I will explain.) He sat me down, and told me that I was not allowed to leave until I had either been writing for a half an hour or written a whole page, whichever came later.
And I did it, however hard it might have been and however I might have felt about what I actually managed to write. (Granted, I think that there may have been one useable paragraph in the whole thing, but hey, I did it. I’m not really proud, but it’s done.)
I even, just the other day, signed up for The Yuletide Challenge in the hope that it will push me back on the trail. (I signed up for things that I think I will really enjoy and have fun writing if I get, and that I think will challenge me. I think that was a good move.)
So, by tooth or by nail I will get myself back on track. Because I love writing. And I can’t stand not doing it.
Thought: Writer’s Block.
I think I just need to bull through this. Seriously, how hard can it be to talk about Writer’s Block?
Here’s the deal: Until very recently (I might even say still, but that might just be semantics) I hadn’t written anything for about a year and a half. It was May 2006 that I wrote my last story. And then I just… hit a block. Who knows why. I don’t think it really matters.
Now, I know this happens to people. Sometimes a block can last a day. Maybe a week. Or a month. I’ve had that before. And I know that sometimes it can last years. (God forbid that should happen. *knocks on wood*) And I understand, from an intellectual standpoint, that something like this is bound to happen to everyone at some point. And honestly? I’m all right with that. I don’t terribly mind getting blocked, because I know it will break eventually. I love writing, it’s what I want to do, so I know that it can’t just go away forever. (Though, want some scary nightmares after ~9 months of Writer’s Block? The thought that I won’t ever write again is enough to make me cry.)
Some people say that it’s laziness. I don’t know that I believe that is the cause, but I think that definitely feeds into it. I will say that for me, it’s a complete lack of motivation and inspiration and creativity(-ation?). That pretty much explains exactly what Writer’s Block feels like to me. And, let me just say, it sucks. A lot. It’s like a big chunk of who I am simply isn’t there for me to call on anymore.
But, what drives me absolutely batty about having Writer’s Block is this: I genuinely LOVE writing. I love everything about it. I find joy and a sense of satisfaction from stringing the exact right words together in the exact right patterns to make beautiful sentences. I love making characters and being able to feel them in my head, clear as day. I love writing complicated plots, weaving the knots and the loops and the webs that my characters get into. I don’t think there’s a single thing about writing that I don’t enjoy (and that includes editing, no matter how much I might complain about it).
So not being able to do it? Really drives me bat-shit crazy. I understand that it might have to happen, and I can tolerate it, no matter how annoyed with it I may become, but I am still annoyed.
I want to go back to being able to do what I love doing. It is my hobby, my passion and, as it conveniently happens, my goal. I’d like to be able to do it again.